Josh has planned a surprise with Anna’s dad and hidden cameras filming the event. In the video, which you can watch here, Anna and her parents are at a restaurant for her 20th birthday. 🔵 Jim Bob knew Josh’s background when he gave Josh the (very performative) sex Ed materials the day before the wedding.

🔵 trauma responses related to sex are common for Christian women-but it’s hard for them to understand why. 🔵 the ability to feel feelings (like desire) doesn’t return when a veil is flipped.

Sex education is usually forbidden in purity culture homes, as is ordinary knowledge of one’s own body. 🔵 Consent without understanding is impossible. 🔵 Ironically, sex talk can loom in a suppressive atmosphere MORE than if development is handled normally. 🔵 Purity culture obsessively seeks to shut down healthy sexual development. And that’s without one of them being a known child predator. If the surface is Josh and Anna’s body language, the underlying truth is what happens when two purity culture kids court and get married. Here are a few of the take-aways from the story within the story. Watching her recoil brought up old pain I knew I needed to write out. It was by Body Language reader, Logan Portenier, on YouTube and is a breakdown the action/response of Josh ambushing Anna for her birthday and marriage proposal. God also cares about our hearts not just behavior modification.Yesterday I watched a behavior analysis of Josh and Anna Duggar.Look at the motivation of your heart and why you’re wearing the clothes you choose.It’s all about context, clothes, and presence.Modest can actually be an empowering thing.

Kat recommends “A return to Modesty” by Wendy Shallot This doesn’t mean we throw modesty out the window, but there is way to reframe it.Lust is not a solely male issue and women’s bodies have been oversexualized.We are humans made in the image of God, and we are dehumanizing men if we feel they cannot control themselves.We are not the sum of our urges and men are not animals.How do we empower men and women to reframe modesty? Kat personally believes there’s healthy ways to masturbate.Scripture is very clear on lust but not masturbation.When you feel the urge to masturbate, bring it God and acknowledge that desire.One of the most human experiences is sexual desire.You talk in your book about masturbation, could you break down the desire to masturbate? Practice embodiment and going from your head to your heart.Practice the art of being present and alive with your senses.Sexuality is not embarrassing, God made it.To embrace your sexual desire, first you have to acknowledge you sexual desire and show gratitude towards your body.If sexuality were a book, sex and intimacy would be one chapter.Sexuality is just a bigger and broader thing that makes us want to connect with other people.There’s a difference between sexual desire and a desire for sex.What do you do with your sexuality and desire if you’re choosing to not have sex before marriage? Sexuality and desire isn’t who you are, but it is apart of the human experience.She wanted to have open conversations on sex and sexuality thats not rooted in shame.She is vulnerable, discussing shame and her own story in this book.She wrote it to unpack any hot question she’s had about God and sexuality.You JUST released your new book “Sexless in the City” could you tell us about it? In this episode, Kat and Kait discuss all things sexual desire, purity culture, and even modesty! Today, we are celebrating the release of her brand new book “Sexless in the City:A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex” in Biblical Studies from Dallas Baptist University and is Co-Founder of the online publication The Refined Woman and host of The Refined Collective Podcast. Her vision is for women to know their beauty, identity and value. Kat is a Brooklyn-based online educator, digital content creator, female empowerment advocate. Heart of Dating couldn’t be more honored than to welcome one of Kait’s dearest friends to the show today… Kat Harris!

Purity culture trauma